Forgiving from the Heart That’s Been Healed by Grace

How forgiveness opens the door to peace, gratitude, and freedom.

At 58, I can look back and see a lifetime of lessons.

I think I spent my first ten years walking in the grace of God — innocent, trusting, unafraid to believe. Somewhere around eleven, I started to drift. From eighteen to fifty-seven, my moments with Him were more like flickers than flames.

But what amazes me is this: God never stopped forgiving me. My moments of being forgiven far outweigh the moments I forgave. And that realization humbles me.

We talk about grace as something we receive, but it’s also something we give — especially through forgiveness. There isn’t a limit to how many times we’re called to forgive. Every time we do, it’s like another small step back into our walk with Jesus.

Forgiveness doesn’t erase the past; it frees the heart to move forward. And maybe that’s where real grace lives — not in being perfect, but in letting mercy keep the conversation going.

When Forgiveness Starts with Being Forgiven

For a long time, I thought forgiveness was mostly about other people — the ones who had hurt me or disappointed me. But somewhere along the way, God showed me that true forgiveness begins when I really understand how deeply I’ve been forgiven.

When I think about my own story — the years I drifted, the choices that pulled me away, the times I tried to handle life on my own — I see grace woven all through it. God didn’t just wait for me to “come back.” He kept reaching. He kept forgiving. He kept calling me home.

And when that truth finally settled in my heart, it changed how I saw everyone else. I realized I couldn’t keep holding people hostage for their mistakes while living free under His mercy.

That’s the thing about grace — once you’ve tasted it, you can’t help but want to pass it on.

The Heavy Cost of Holding On

Forgiveness sounds beautiful until you actually have to do it.

Then it feels like handing over a part of yourself — your pride, your right to be angry, your justification for the pain.

I know what it’s like to carry hurt for too long. To replay the same memory and think, “If they just understood what they did…” But the truth is, holding onto resentment doesn’t protect us — it poisons us.

Unforgiveness has a way of shrinking the soul. It keeps you stuck in the same story, rehearsing the same scene, waiting for a version that never comes.

Letting go isn’t saying what happened was okay. It’s saying, “God, I trust You with this. I trust You to heal what I can’t fix.”

There’s a verse in Ephesians 4:32 that brings me back:

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

That last part — just as in Christ God forgave you — that’s the key.
Our forgiveness toward others isn’t meant to come from sheer willpower; it’s meant to flow from the same grace that rescued us.

How Forgiveness and Gratitude Are Connected

Something beautiful happens when we forgive — gratitude starts to grow again.

When we finally release what someone did, we stop focusing on what was taken from us and start noticing what God has given us. We become thankful not just for healing, but for the mercy that made healing possible.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting; it means remembering differently — through the lens of grace.

It’s the difference between saying, “That broke me,” and “That shaped me.”

And when you can look back at the pain and still see God’s hand holding it all together, that’s when gratitude takes root.

I think that’s one reason why Jesus tied forgiveness so closely to prayer. In Matthew 6:14–15, He says,

“If you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”

Forgiveness keeps the heart open. It keeps the lines of prayer and peace unclogged. It makes room for thankfulness to flow where bitterness once lived.

The Freedom of Letting Go

Since coming back to my faith, I’ve realized forgiveness doesn’t happen all at once. It’s not a moment — it’s a process God keeps walking us through until the weight finally starts to lift.

There are still people I’m learning to forgive. Some wounds are older than I’d like to admit. For a long time, I thought I couldn’t move forward until the pain stopped, but I’m learning it’s actually the other way around — sometimes the healing begins after you choose to forgive.

There have been days when I’ve whispered, “God, I want to forgive, but I don’t know how.” And He’s met me right there — not with judgment, but with patience. He keeps teaching me that forgiveness isn’t about pretending something didn’t hurt; it’s about trusting Him enough to hand it over.

It’s still hard sometimes. But little by little, as I release the need to make sense of every wrong or fix every broken thing, I feel peace starting to take its place.

Forgiveness doesn’t erase what happened — it just stops it from controlling what happens next. It’s letting God hold the part of the story that still aches and believing He knows how to heal it.

Living Out Grace in Everyday Life

The more I walk with God, the more I realize that forgiveness is less about one big moment and more about grace every day. It’s choosing compassion over pride, humility over control, mercy over resentment.

It’s remembering that I don’t have to wait until I feel strong to extend grace — because it’s not my strength that makes it possible.

Sometimes the most spiritual thing we can do is say quietly, “God, I forgive them, and I’m asking You to bless them,” even if our hearts are still tender.

And the beauty is this — God honors that.

He works in those surrendered spaces, softening what’s hardened, healing what’s raw, and reminding us that forgiveness is a reflection of His heart in ours.

When You’re the One Who Needs Grace

There’s another side to forgiveness we don’t talk about enough — the times we need it for ourselves.

I can’t count how many times I’ve had to ask God to forgive me for the same thing — for doubting, for impatience, for stepping ahead of Him.

And each time, He doesn’t sigh or roll His eyes. He welcomes me back with the same mercy as before.

Psalm 103:12 says,

“As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.”

That’s the kind of forgiveness that doesn’t run out. And when I remember that, it becomes a lot easier to extend that same grace outward — to others and to myself.

What I’m Holding Onto

Forgiveness is the quiet work of the heart — often unseen, but always transforming. It’s where God teaches us to lay down what hurts so we can pick up what heals.

I’m learning that when I forgive, I’m not just releasing someone else — I’m releasing myself. I’m letting gratitude, peace, and joy breathe again.

So if you’re carrying something heavy today — a grudge, a wound, a moment that still stings — maybe it’s time to ask God to help you let it go.

You don’t have to do it perfectly. Just start with willingness.

Because every act of forgiveness is another small step back toward grace — and every step back to grace brings you closer to the heart of God.

With gratitude and faith,
Patti