When Gratitude Feels Hard to Find

Learning to Thank God Anyway

I’ll be honest — there have been (and sometimes still are) times when gratitude didn’t come easy. Times when “thank You, God” felt like something I should say but didn’t feel in my heart.

We hear so many reminders about being thankful — gratitude journals, daily lists, and verses that tell us to “give thanks in all circumstances.” But there are moments, life feels so heavy that even whispering a prayer of thanks feels forced.

There have been mornings when I’ve sat with my coffee, trying to thank God, but my heart was too tired. What I’ve learned is that it’s okay to start there — tired, unsure, and maybe even frustrated.

Gratitude isn’t about pretending everything’s fine. It’s about looking for traces of God’s goodness even when everything isn’t.

When Gratitude Doesn’t Come Naturally

I used to think that grateful people were just wired differently — more positive, more spiritual, maybe better at trusting God. But I’ve learned that gratitude isn’t a personality trait; it’s a spiritual practice. It’s something you grow into, especially in hard seasons.

I can look back now and see moments when I was anything but thankful — the plans that fell apart, the prayers that seemed unanswered, the people who left when I thought they’d stay. I used to believe I couldn’t be grateful until things got better. But God’s been showing me that gratitude is part of how things get better.

Because when we start to thank Him — even for the smallest things — something begins to shift inside of us. It’s like turning the light on in a dark room. The situation might not change, but how we see it does.

The Truth About Thankfulness

If you’ve ever struggled to feel grateful, you’re not broken or faithless — you’re human. Gratitude doesn’t always start with joy; sometimes it starts with surrender.

When Paul wrote, “Give thanks in all circumstances” (1 Thessalonians 5:18), he wasn’t saying we should be thankful for everything. He said in everything. There’s a big difference.

We don’t have to be thankful for loss, or pain, or disappointment. But we can be thankful that even in those moments, God doesn’t walk away.

Gratitude isn’t denying what hurts; it’s deciding to look for God’s hand in the middle of it.

Gratitude in the Waiting

Waiting seasons test our gratitude the most. When the prayer isn’t answered, the door hasn’t opened, or the healing hasn’t come — that’s where thankfulness feels hardest.

I used to think waiting was wasted time. But now I’m learning that waiting is where faith grows — where gratitude turns into trust.

When we thank God in the waiting, it’s not because everything makes sense; it’s because we believe He’s working even when we can’t see how.

Sometimes that’s as simple as saying, “God, I don’t understand this, but I trust You.”

Every time you say that, you’re planting a seed of gratitude that will bloom later.

Finding Grace in the Small Things

I’ve started paying attention to the small things that remind me God is still here — the way the air feels cooler in the morning, the laughter of someone I love, a verse that feels written just for me.

Gratitude doesn’t have to be loud or grand; it can be quiet and steady.

Sometimes it’s just noticing that God still gives you breath, strength, or one more chance to start over.

When I slow down long enough to notice, I realize I’m surrounded by little reminders of His faithfulness:

• The way light hits the table during morning coffee.
  

• A friend’s text that says, “Thinking of you.”
  

• Peace that comes for no reason other than prayer.

It’s in those small things that gratitude starts to come alive again.

When Gratitude Feels Forced

There are still days when gratitude feels like work. When that happens, I’ve learned to stop trying to feel thankful and just talk to God honestly.

Sometimes I’ll say, “Lord, I’m not feeling it. Please help me see one thing I can thank You for.”

And He always shows me something — sometimes something so simple that I almost miss it. A quiet moment. A good meal. The chance to try again.

Gratitude doesn’t have to be big to be real.

Even the smallest thank you can become holy ground when your heart means it.

Gratitude and Peace

The more I practice gratitude, the more I notice how deeply it’s connected to peace. Philippians 4:6–7 says,

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Peace doesn’t come after we stop worrying; it comes through thanksgiving.

It’s not that gratitude makes the hard things disappear — it just reminds us that God is bigger than them.

And the more we thank Him, the more our hearts settle into His presence instead of our problems.

How to Begin Again

If you’re in a season where gratitude feels out of reach, start small.

Here are a few things that help me when thankfulness feels far away:

1. Start with honesty.
   Tell God exactly how you feel. You don’t need polished words; you just need real ones.
   

2. Thank Him for something right in front of you.
   It might be your breath, your morning coffee, your child’s laugh, or the fact that you woke up today.
   

3. Write one sentence of thanks each day.
   Not a list — just one. It builds a rhythm that changes how you see your days.
   

4. Let someone know you appreciate them.
   Gratitude grows when you share it.
   

5. Read a Psalm out loud.
   The Psalms turn pain into praise and remind you that even in struggle, gratitude has a voice.
   

What I’m Holding Onto

Gratitude doesn’t always shout — sometimes it just whispers, “God, thank You for staying.”

It’s okay if you’re still learning to find it. It’s okay if some days it feels more like effort than joy.

Because every small thank You plants a seed of faith. And in time, those seeds grow into peace, contentment, and hope — even in the middle of the mess.

Gratitude doesn’t change every circumstance, but it changes us.

And when life feels heavy, that small shift might be exactly what your heart needs to keep going.

With gratitude and faith,
Patti